3 key factors to successful teamwork

In my previous entries I have been discussing goals and objectives, mostly from an individual standpoint. Today I want to address them from a team perspective.

Last week I had a managerial simulation competitive workshop which lasted five days, where I was tossed in with five other people of which I only knew one. It was a rewarding experience and an entertaining change from the regular work routing one is used to, where the knowledge and lessons came from many angles, ways and forms. Our team was fortunate enough to build a great success at the activity and after leading the simulation from day one, we finished second only because we made a mistake inputting the software in the final activity. Still we felt satisfied and pleased with our successful teamwork.

So what are the three key factors?

Even the Dream Team with all its success followed these three simple factors

1. Decisions are a dish best serve cold.

Your daily routine is filled with crossroads and moments where you have to pick a path among sometimes a few, sometimes several choices. While some of these are easy and quite straight forward, others are filled with huge responsibility, implications and a weight that can be compared to a ton of bricks. So how does one make the best out of making a decision?

Be Cold

One of the most interesting things I read in me teen years was on my home study book when I was taking my driver's license exam was a key paragraph about driving under influence of external factors, not necessarily meaning drugs, alcohol or cigars, but just a simple fight with your boy/girlfriend, a job demotion, or any situation that could have affected you emotionally and upset you. I remember that the chapter said something between the lines of

"When driving, you have to be concentrated. If you have been upset for whatever reason, DO NOT drive your car. Instead, take a 30 minute walk, preferably by yourself, and let yourself blow the steam away until you feel more calm."

It has been a piece of advise that stuck with me through the years and that I have been able to extrapolate to managerial decisions.

Information to make an educated decision normally arrives at you after a period of waiting, so you have to take your time to analyze and interpret the data along with the alternatives you have. Sometimes you have to bring collegues, people who work for you or superiors as well, each one with an opinion of his own that will either enforce or weaken your resources on hand. The bottom line is: if the responsibility of making the decision is yours, then your mind must be clear and able to think straight.

Hopefully you're not running his kind of business.
However one thing to take from Michael is his ability to make important decisions coldly and calmly

Back to my workshop, during one of the shifts we face ourselves with a dilemma: our company had been focusing on an exclusive target market and our products were performing very well, with our team leading with a comfortable advantage. However three other teams who were more oriented on mass-production, were doing deals between themselves to try to reduce the gap; so, we had to develop and launch a new product into the market and we had two choices:

• Option 1: launch a new product aimed for a large target market with minimal profit betting on mass production (which meant diversify our business and sail into new uncharted waters)
• Option 2: launch a new product aimed for an exclusive target market with huge profit (which meant stay true to our core business)

The team was evenly divided into both options and the discussion was going on fine, until a arguments to reinforce option 1 started to become more daring. After about forty minutes of discussion, I had enough. I got up and did exactly what I remember reading on that driving test book. I told my teammates: "I'm going for a 15-minute walk and you should do the same. Let's go out and clear our heads. When we get back, we'll make a decision".

And so we did.



2. Make sure you put the right people on the right seat

I'll paraphrase some of the chapters from Jim Collins' Good to Great here. A team in a work environment, is like people riding on a bus on a very very long trip. So, you want them to be comfortable at their seats. Morever, you want them sitting in the right seat.

Assuming you already went over the "building the team" stage and you have your players, what comes next and is most important is that each player goes in the position where he'll perform best and where he'll perform best for the team. Perform best means:

• The player is good at the job
• The player likes his job
• The job brings the best out of the player

I address being past the "building the team" stage first, because it allows me to justify that if you haven't built a team yet, then you have to remove the stigma that you exclusively need the best player at its position in order to succeed. While it's definetily a plus to have someone who excells at a specific job, sometimes you'll won't be able to find this person as handy as you would like. That is why it's more important that the player is good at the job, likes his job and performs as well if not better than what is expected from him.

Take a look at your team and ask yourself if your HR, your S&M, your Operations and your Finance VPs are giving it the best they can and with the passion that is comparable to the quality of their work.

This is why there are ocassions in sports in which the so called "underdog" teams are able to win championships:

The 2002 Anaheim Angels (MLB)
The 2004 Detroit Pistons (NBA)
The 2003-04 Porto UEFA Champions League run and championship

Driven by Jose Mourinho (one of the greatest coaches/motivators), Porto went through an unbelievable run defeating heavily favorite teams to conquier the 2004 Champions League

Those teams had players who were not on par to some of the top stars of their leagues. but they performed best individually and even performed better within the team.

Which brings me to the third crucial key factor



3. Synergy

The easiest way to explain synergy is the tale of two short guys who wanted to reach an apple, but weren't tall enough to do it on their own. So they decided to team up: one hopped on the shoulders of the other one, and then they were tall enough to grab it.

Though my life I have had the privilege of working with a lot of accomplished people, building up successful teams. One thing that has always struck me, is the question of whether there has been an ideal perfect team, among the many I have worked with. Let's assume the answer is yes. If this is the case you reached utopic synergy; but that's not the case 99 % of times.

When you're tossed in a team, or a team is tossed into your department, you are facing a bunch of strangers, who let's say, are able to decide cold ice, as well as they are the right man/woman for the job. The only question left is: are they connecting with each other? This is the crucial factor on a successful team.

Let's say that just like me, you encounter a group of people you haven't met before and that you as a group intend to make a difference. Some of these TV reality shows make a really good job at showing the weaknesses of these teams, maybe to emphasize on the drama (quarrels, heated discussions) aspect of television per sè. However, something is true to the drama to be told. If no synergy is built, then problems will arise... and you do not want problems if you want a successful team, or at least... you want the minimum amount of problems.

Synergy is like that Seinfeld episode in which Jerry during his stand up act states that

"there is no reason for two guys not to bond, because they're just... guys. In fact, if a guy sees another one doing mechanics to his car, he'll jump in and start conversation out of nothing. The conversation can range from: hey, is that wrench a #4 1/4 with cushion grip, to got a few cold ones in the frige if you want one, to baywatch, to Swedish socialism, to nuclear reactors"

The point here is, when dealing with new people in a team, the most important thing you have to do is find something to relate with that person. It will help to ease the tension, break the ice, and start to bring more smile and laughs that are necessary to motivate your team initially and to build initial synergy. Of course this is only the beginning. Next comes the real process of growing synergy and solidifying it.

After transmitting that bond to the person who is next to the next to you, left and right, front and back, make sure that they do the same, so that each member in the team has something to bond about. Once this goal is met, then follows the definitive cherry: when two team members start a chat in which one team member asks the other one "how can your performance be enhanced by mine, and more importantly how can his/her (referring to a third team member) performance be improved by ours.

The goal: how can HR perform better with support coming from Finance, Operations and S&M, how can S&M perform better supported by HR, Finance and Operations... you get the picture.

The best example I can think of is Germany's crushing demolition of Brazil in the 2014 World Cup. If you look at how the goals were conceived, you will agree that there couldn't be any better teamwork effort delivered.

A commentator summed it all up in four smart sentences:

"Brazil has Neymar
Argentina has Messi
Germany... has a TEAM"

That's where success is.

Long term objectives

In my previous entry I talked a little bit about the intangible "not so commonly" mentioned aspects that can help you attain your New Year goals and objectives. What I'm going to do next is go deeper into the pointers I gave before and share a couple of interesting stories that will motivate you to make a change in your life. Here's the first one:

When I was seven years old, I came across a world almanac book. I remember breezing through it and reaching the sports section, where it was normal to every year show the world champions of the most important sports in the world. Being an American, I remember feeling very proud every time I saw the name of an American being champion at a sport, especially if there was a long track record of American dominance: track and field, basketball, tennis and well... chess. Chess?

When I saw this table back when I was seven, I thought the same thing you would when thinking about Soviet Union and United States "rivalry" ?

The chess section in the almanac showed that since 1937, the USSR (former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics), had a complete dominance in chess, personified by champions such as Alekhine, Botvinik, Smylov, Tal, Petrossian, Spassky, until 1972 where the sole name of an American interrupted the nearly 50 years of Soviet dominance: it was Robert Fischer, more commonly known as Bobby Fischer. I remember his name had an asterisk "*" next to it, with a bottom page note that read "* = Fischer was stripped from his title as he refused to defend it against challenger Anatoly Karpov, who was pronounced new world champion". I remember thinking to myself "wow, these Soviets are really strong at this chess thing. This Fischer guy must have been very good, since he's the only non-soviet who has been champion of the world." All of these thoughts went through my mind when I first saw his name at the world almanac when I was seven. Later on, I would learn the incredible story of Bobby Fischer becoming world chess champion.

When Bobby was six, he got a chess board as a gift from his mother and became fascinated by the game. After reading the rules of the game, he was able to teach himself basic openings and strategies, that led him to beat his sister, his neighbors and his friends. His mother placed an ad at a newspaper, inquiring if other chess players wanted to play his son. Eventually, Bobby was brought to the Manhattan Chess Club, where he was mentored by some of the top players back then, and again, sooner than later, he found himself beating more people than losing.

This young kid wasn't just "good". He was special...

Bobby was a genius, with some sources claiming his IQ was around the 190-195 range (keep in mind Einstein's was 160). He also had a photographic memory, but more importantly, he had the one ingredient I will be concentrating on this entry: Passion. For Bobby, defeating his opponent was not enough; he wanted to crush his opponent. When Bobby was fifteen, he decided he was going to quit high-school and become world chess champion. This statement is particularly interesting, because you don't see many fifteen year old "deciding they are going to become world champions..." of anything whatsoever.

I'll skip some of the specifics of Bobby's story and move forward to 1970, but before that I'll make a quick parenthesis to explain something.

Three world championship cycles had gone by Bobby. To become world champion of chess, you have to become "world chess challenger", which means, to win the world championship cycle, which is basically a series of "free-for-all" tournaments in which all the players who aspire to challenge the world champion are in. First locally, then national, then regional then worldwide. The world chess challenger then faces the world champion, and if he beats him, the title is his.

The first cycle Bobby attended was the 1959, when he had just turned sixteen years old. He managed to finish fifth out of eight players and was only surpassed by Soviet players. The second cycle was the 1962. By then, Bobby's rating and skills were already strongh enough to face the world chess champion, but the Soviet players were not going to allow this to happen. So in the final round of the world championship cycle, which was a round-robin format, they decided to fix the games among themselves, drawing their matches in order to save strength to play against Bobby. Bobby immediately discovered the conspiration and denounced that he was quitting the tournament. The third cycle was the 1965. Bobby was leading the tournament, but was hurt by poor scheduling from the organizers, forcing him to play multiple players with no rest, which in his mind, was also a conspiration to prevent him from becoming world champion. Eventually, he withdrew from the tournament. End parenthesis.

Fischer's bitterness towards Soviet Players did not include all the team. Former champion Mikhail Tal was known as a true gentleman and was highly regarded by everyone. When he fell ill during the 1962 cycle, Fischer was the only player who visited him. 

Enter the 1970 cycle, a few changes were made to the format of the tournament. The most important one was that the final rounds would be played using a bracket format instead of a round robin, meaning there would be no place for match-fixing or inconvenient scheduling. Everyone had to play someone on exact similar conditions. Unfortunately, the first rounds of the tournament were still under the old rules, which caused Bobby once again to sit out from the cycle, as he felt they were unfair. However, one of the qualified players gave up his spot and allowed Fischer to play instead of him. Fischer accepted, and that is how the most amazing world championship run story began.

Miguel Najdorf (who invented the Sicilian-Najdorf strategy) was the first top player who felt the Fisher power.
Fischer defeated him in the interzonal... using the Sicilian-Najdorf strategy against him!

Fischer finished the interzonal round of the cycle with seven consecutive wins. Let me explain something here first: you don't normally see "seven consecutive wins" in chess. Wait, let me stand corrected: you don't see "seven consecutive wins" in chess. That is simply unheard of. Normally top players finish tournaments with a draw of two consectuve wins, maybe three. Never seven. Finishing a tournament with seven consecutive wins over top players, is like winning the last 40 games of a baseball or a basketball season. As winner of the interzonal, Bobby had to face Soviet Mark Taimanov in a match that consisted in a series of 6 games. Allow me to pause for one second:

In chess, matches are scored on points: wins are worth one point, draws are worth half. So normally chess matches end up with a score of 4-3, or 5 1/2 - 4 1/2, or  5 1/2 - 3 1/2. It's as common as soccer (football) matches with scores of 1-0, 2-1, 3-2, 3-1, and by common I mean 99.99% of the time. This means that in a normal match against top players, half the games they play are drawn and they score two or three wins and one or two losses.

The result of quarter-final cycle match Fischer vs Taimanov (left) was six wins in six games for Fischer: 6-0.

Next in line was Bent Larssen (right). The result of semi-final match Fischer vs Larsen: six wins in six games for Fischer, in other words another 6-0.

Now let me put this in context. You NEVER, and I emphasize NEVER, see two back-to-back six wins no draws no losses 6-0 matches in chess. In fact, it had never been seen before, and... it has never been seen since. To win two back-to-back matches by perfect scores in chess, is something like

• In football / soccer: Winning six straight world cup matches by a score of 11-0.
• In baseball: Winning 40 consecutive games, by scores of 20 runs to 0.
• In football / NFL: Winning all 16 games of regular season and all playoff games up to the Super Bowl by 70-0.
• In basketball: winning 20 games of regular season and 8 games of playoffs with +60 point difference
• In track and field: winning the 100m dash in 9 seconds flat and the 200m in 17 seconds.
• In tennis: winning back-to-back grand slams (whichever grand slam) by winning all 14 matches with 6-0/6-0/6-0 score

Despite the astounding score difference, the 1992 Dream Team's results were expected.
Fischer's results were both astounding, unexpected and impossible to achieve by anyone but him.

...so, you pretty much get the picture.

The embarrasment was such for the Soviet federation, that they punished Taimanov by stripping him from his Grandmaster title. Bent Larsen never again showed up for a competitive tournament. Next in line: former champion Tigran Petrossian, who called Fischer's run "a thing of luck" and predicted he would beat Fischer.

The first game saw another Fischer victory, who extended to twenty his streak of victories against top grandmasters. Finally, the streak came to an end when Petrossian was able to score a win in the second game. Three straight draws followed and then Fischer once again shifted gears up and scored three wins to end the match and become the world chess challenger to face Boris Spassky, reigning champion. After conceding the first game to a horrible blunder and forfeiting the second game to fall at a 0-2 score, the Fischer juggernaut continued, winning seven games, drawing eleven and losing just one.

Spassky's body language says it all in this picture of the 1972 World Championship.
There was nothing he or anyone could do against the Fischer juggernaut.

Thirteen years after Fischer decided to become World Chess Champion, he was crowned as the best player in the planet. He single-handedly took down the entire Soviet empire of chess dominance. The long term objective had been achieved.

While not a personal hero to me, there are many lessons that can be learnt from the Fischer accomplishment and that can be extrapolated into our lives and our planning and setting of long term goals, even when I'm sure most of your long term objectives and goals are nowhere near becoming World Chess Champion:

Even when I'll go into some of the details of Fischer's routine, they will be mere consequences and implications of an inner emotion that comes from our brain, our hearts, our soul, or whichever source you wish to label as source for inspiration.

It's always an inspiration to be one step closer to your goal.

There are seven main bottom lines for this point.

1. Passion drives everything

Fischer LOVED chess. In order to engage in a long term goal, you MUST LOVE the path that will drive you to that goal. In other words, this is the fuel that ignites your passion.

2. Motivation comes within

Second: Motivation comes from the inside. Nobody was next to Fischer every day, reminding him to study chess books or play games against stronger players. It is YOU who start the engine every day.

3. Small rewards feed you more than food

In this interview, Fischer states the greatest pleasure he finds (found) in chess was "when you break his (opponent's) ego". These small rewards become more effective than any vitamin supplement.

http://youtu.be/MPlXC3M8hbg?t=3m25s

4. Build bridges to help you cross rivers, walls and other barriers

Fischer taught himself several foreign languages in order to be able to study foreign chess books and magazines.

5. Distractions are an enemy

Note that a distraction is something that pulls you away from the path that leads you to your objective. It doesn't mean a recreation is an enemy. In fact, recreations are your friends because they will help you clear your mind and relax.

6. Defend your rights and fight for what it's fair

Fischer made a statement and fought for fair conditions which included his rights and an environment that was balanced for him to keep towards his goal. Note that I didn't say "he fixed the environment", but instead he balanced the environment, which means: sometimes you'll have to face your surroundings.

7. NEVER give up

Long term goals are exactly that: long term.

They are not achieved in days, weeks, sometimes even months and years. Nevertheless, you have a huge advantage: there is always time.

New Year, New Goals, New Objectives

It's 2015 and as most people resume their jobs, they are also working on setting goals and objectives for the new year... both personal, professional and corporate objectives. Throughout up coming posts I will expand on the idea I want to bring today, which in general deals with handling and setting objectives.

SMART Objectives

It has been discussed that the paper written by George Doran "There is a SMART way to write management's goals and objectives", set the current standard regarding this subject. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound are the elements which have to worry you initially. Of course, there are a few more pointers that have to be taken into consideration.

General Objective vs Short-Term Objectives

I like to compare the matter of setting objectives with our routine, as it is easy to identify and relate to a common daily task. One can propose a variety of goals, from losing 20 pounds, to running a marathon, to learning a new language. The way I like to see it, is by attaining short-term objectives, but of course you have to put into perspective the length and difficulty your goal has, compared to the time and resources you have to dedicate to it. One example I will blog about in another future entry, is how Bobby Fischer set his life objective to become world chess champion. By the time Bobby decided to quit high-school, he knew that becoming chess champion was all he wanted to do in his life. Of course, you don't become world champion in weeks or months. It takes a lot of time, effort, sacrifice, discipline. I will examine this example later on, but what I want to save is that losing 20 pounds should be measured with a different bar than becoming world chess champion.

In a future entry I will share how Bobby reached his goal and compare it to business objectives

Mental strength to resist giving up

The weight subject is particularly fascinating, because people who jump on this bandwagon, can get easily frustrated the results don't show as quick as they wish, despite how much initial effort is dedicated to the goal. It normally takes three to four months for our bodies to change its metabolism and adapt to a "lose-weight" diet or exercise regime.

It's quite similar to the goal of running a half-marathon in six months. As a runner myself and having trained lots of my friends, I can vow that the first four to five weeks are as frustrating as you can imagine, because you keep putting calories into it and you are barely making it to 3 miles. I remember training with a friend who was just about to give up after week 5, and I told him to give himself one more week to see results. As he began week 6, all of a sudden he was able to make it to 5 miles, very easily. I remember he told me "I feel like I could go on to six or seven, but I held up and stuck to the plan", the plan being, educate your body to gradually gain strength and resistance so you can gradually pick up pace, time and distance.

Tools like Nike+ help you visualize and build your mental strength.
If you don't have it, the old paper and pen trick also works.

Sacrifice

While I'm a believer that working towards completing an objective has to be a pleasure, it shouldn't be confused with pleasure time or leisure time. The bottom line is, there will be times in which you have to be willing to give something up and favor your goal.

I compare this to reading books: whether if it's the Divine comedy, a novel or a history book, reading pretty much requires 100 % of your attention and focus. It's sort of a selfish hobby, but it's able to teach yourself about being disciplined and balancing your activities. Bottom line is, when your reading Dante's masterpiece, you are exclusively devoted to it and nothing else.

Objectives have a similar treat. Whether if it's time with your family, time with your friends, tasting a sweet cream cake, an assesment of what is going to be sacrificed must be made when setting your goal.

Reading is similar to a high-focus concentration task in your work environment.
I'll expand more into this in another future entry

Motivation

This is a tricky aspect of objectives because it depends on whether your goals are individual or from part of a team.

Corporate objectives -my personal favorites- deal with numbers, sales, financial, collections, and are empowered by a group of people who have similar and different mindsets from yours at any given time. Also, another question to ask is: are you the proposer of the goal or a follower of the goal? Both ends have unique responsibilities that can influence your surroundings in a positive or negative way. It's normal that the role played for each one of us, is a dual one: become a motivator and receive motivation.

Key things to evaluate: who am I counting with ? what resources do I have ? who in my team is a key player to reach the goal ?

Motivation can be a powerful force to drive you and those around you

Individual goals

An individual objective can be seen as a corporate/team goal, only that you are the entire team. That's a lot of tons over your shoulders, and you have to be prepared to take the heat from it. If the team is feeling bad, then you are feeling bad; if the team is on a roll, then you are on a roll. You ARE the team.

The challenge in individual goals is the lack of human resources. There is no one to encourage you (depending on the goal), and there is no one who can make further progress on reaching the goal. It's all you. That's why I consider that individual goals have to externalized; not necessarily shared with other people, but to have something you can rely on to measure your progress. For instance, if you want to save $10,000 from your salary within six months, then write yourself a nice board, with how much you are saving every week, and put some checkmarks along the way, to track how well your progress is going.

Tennis is the epytome of handling individual objectives.
It's always you, your thoughts and yourself on the court, vs the rest 

Inspiration

While I do not have any particular idols or people I admire, I do believe that you must have an inspiration in order to help you push towards your objective. It can be tangible or not, but it has to be always there, serving as a reminder and a reason for your effort.

Inspiration is pretty much like writting or speaking in public. It's an emotion that shows up and makes you do things, sometimes even extraordinary things. In my job, we have this friendly competition that inspires different teams who do not work together, to perform better separatelly. The inspiration is a simple as to be able to prove that you are part of the best team.

I know it's cliché, but the before and after photos (now selfies) are a powerful inspiration to everyone

Closing thoughts

There's something I have learned it is one of the most important factors in the business world, when dealing with your co-workers, employees, clients and in general, dealing with stakeholders: reaching your goals. Everyone will benefit from the positive consequences, such as rewards, satisfaction, triumph and success.

There is one more important element though: make a habit of reaching your goals.

I have a lot of respect towards this guy.
He has made a habit of reaching his goals.

Funny clips from some classic comedies

Happy New Year 2015 !

It's always good to start the year with a smile in your face and a good laugh. That's why I bring you a humble list of some of my favorite funny clips from classic comedies.

Sit back and enjoy!


In Kingpin Roy Munson (Woody Harrelson) is a former bowling prodigy/champion, who lost his good hand after a bet-fixing incident fight. Years later, he comes across Ishmael (Randy Quaid) and decides to coach him hoping to bring success and riches. At one point in the movie, he brings Ishmael over the house of a potential sponsor and here's what happens:

I've never met anyone who hasn't seen My, Myself and Irene, but just in case, I'll put in you in context: Charlie is a Rhode Island Police Officer who suffers from dual-personality schizophrenia. He's assigned to escort Irene (a witness from a dangerous trial) to a court in Connecticut and during the journey he loses the pills that help him treat the disorder. So, his other persona "Hank" shows up and after introducing himself to Irene, he tells her "he wishes they shoud get to know each other better..."

I Dream of Jeannie is one of those guilty pleasure shows everyone watched back in the day -or watches today on TCM or Classic Channel-. Each episode is filled with great one-liners from all characters, however... one thing that took me by surprise was when the king of one-liners appeared in one of the episodes:

Recently The Big Lebowski was added to the National Film Registry Library. Scenes like this justify that decision:

If there were umpires as good as Frank Drebin in Naked Gun, there wouldn't be any need for instant replays, hawk-eye, bird-view or whatever technological aid for competitive sports... in ANY sport !

There isn't much that can't be said about Bob Hope that hasn't been said yet. I'm also probably wetting the lake on a rainy day here when I include what some consider his best line ever from Ghost Breakers:

Tropic Thunder is one of the most underrated comedies of all time. Perhaps it went way too far with the stereotypes and subtle accusations, but that doesn't mean that Jack Black's one-liner cannot make my list (despite the fact that Black's role was forgettable the rest of the movie):

Top secret! was the originator that began the huge trend that made the sport Skeet Surfin' so popular today. I have always wanted to practice that sport. By the way, I envy those who went to that concert at 2:18 !

There's something about Mary will always be remembered for this (sorry I coulnd't find the whole scene):

I really hope they never remake or do a sequel to Beetlejuice. The feeling of seeing the first love of my life (Winona Ryder) will never be repeated... ever.

Marylin Monroe's acting has been questioned over the years by pundits and fans. Me personally, I love her in Some like it hot; I think she's the third funniest character in the movie (after Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon). It's one movie I recommend to everyone. The scene that makes it to my list however, doesn't feature her, but Lemmon instead, who has been forced to dress like a woman to hide from some gangsters, and ends up being courted by a lonely millionaire who wants to marry her (him). The scene -in my opinion- is the best end scene to any comedy movie of all time.

While I want to stay away from controversial topics such as religion, I just had to include this clip from Bill Maher's documentary "Religulous".

Some people call Bill Murray the King of Dry-Wit, and here's an example why (from Ghostbusters)

In Zoolander, Ben Stiller stars and direct a satire on fashion and its materialistic environment. David Duchovny is just gold here:

How about one from the late great Chaplin?

It's a good think Anchorman clearified me what do anchors talk about after the broadcast

I've always wanted to get myself an amp with a volume meter that goes to 11 to get that 1 more... like the one in Spinal Tap

The General is not a man, it's a train. Buster Keaton may not have been in the army, but he is a General when it comes to performing his own stunts:

Coming to America is one of those movies that were the best in the average in Gauss' Bell Curve, meaning it was great, terrific and had the potential to become a classic, but it didn't. It's still a great film, and this scene is filled with dry-wit humour. I mean, how can you wrong with Eddie Murphy and TWO Arsenio Halls !

If you like Southpark but you haven't seen Monty Python (either the movies, the shows or the clips), then you don't earn my respect. Not only Trey and Matt have declared themselves huge fans, it is quite evident the huge influence Monty Python has on them and Southpark (well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know?)

Speaking of Southpark, I don't listen to hip-hop:

For those of you who thought MM&I would be Jim Carrey's only spot on the list, well you thought wrong. While there are dozens of Carrey's worthy moments and even though not quick-wit, this scene from Dumb and Dumber makes it hand down

See no evil, hear no evil, is one among the many Gene Wilder & Richard Pryor collaborations. To understand this scene you have to know the plot of the movie: it's about Dave (Wilder) a deaf man and Wally (Pryor) a blind man, who get wrongly arrested for a murder they didn't commit.

Bringing up Baby flopped when it premiered and it was deamed as a failure. Time has proven both critics and the box office wrong. In fact, several sources attribute to Bringing up Baby the first use of the word "gay" in its modern sense.

One of the best memories of a beautiful woman I keep in my mind is Kristin Scott Thomas in Four weddings and a funeral. Also in the same film, one of the funniest memories of Rowan Atkinson I keep in my mind is his performance as a nervous rookie priest in charge of the second wedding:

As I already mentioned above, Groucho Marx was known for being the best one-liner actor of all time. In these scene from Duck soup however, he needs no words to prove his genius

I advise you: NEVER watch Clerks while drinking any beverage. This scene made me spit soda all over my surroundings (and yes, shamefully, that included people!).

Dante -a quickstore clerk- asks his girlfriend Veronica how many boyfriends has she had prior to him and she tells him she has only had two. Dante thinks it's impossible for such a nice and beautiful girl to have only slept with two guys, so he asks how many men has she had sex with, to which again she replies the same two. Dante feels she didn't entirely answer the question, so he demands her to define "have sex". She tells him that there's a difference between having actual sex and having oral sex (aka sucking dicks), and that if he wants to know how many men has she given oral sex to, then the answer is different, meaning higher than the two men she has slept with. This puzzles Dante, as now he asks to Veronica "well, how many dicks have you sucked?" Veronica then starts to feel a bit uncomfortable and tries to move away from the subject, but Dante keeps pressuring on. That's when the clip starts and here's what happened:

It's a mad, mad, mad world is one of the first real epic comedies. This scene may not be liked by everyone, but I find its irony amusing. The joke is that there's a group of people travelling cross-country to find a hidden treasure worth millions of Dollars. They haven't even found the money, and they're already discussing whether it should be tax-deductable or not

Coca Cola's stocks have been up 400 % after proper product placement of their vending machines in what most people (including me) consider the best satire/dark-humour movie ever made: Dr Strangelove

And finally, for those of you waiting for a scene from Airplane to be on the list, well, I'm sorry to dissappoint you... I don't think anyone can choose just ONE scene ! I will comment though on many of the hidden references/jokes some people may/might not have caught at first:

0:16 = The church of religous conscious takes a hit from conscious !

1:57 = Gay reference from "Spartacus". Later on at 2:32, he would ask Joey if he'd ever been on Turkish prision, referencing the gay scene from "Midnight express"

2:10 = The second cup of coffee is an old joke, because there was a commercial advising against second cups of coffe

4:05 = Captain Oveur states they're flying by the Hoover Dam and south the Grand Canyon to distract the passengers, who right away take a look through their windows... even though it's a NIGHT FLIGHT !

5:06 = Pull it out, and BLOW IT !

There's a missing scene in which Captain Ouver's wife asks who is her husband to which Kramer replies "alive but unconscious", to which Johnny quickly adds "... just like Gerald Ford!"

Another missing scene is when Elaine (stewardess) offers a passenger a magazine. The passenger asks for something light to read, to which Elaine replies "how about this leaflet, FAMOUS JEWISH SPORTS LEGENDS" ?

and of course, every scene featuring the aircraft: does anyone get that the engines sound like a 1910 propeller?

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The rise and fall of Lance Armstrong

The most recent news in the development of what has turned to be one of the biggest disappointments in sports history is Nike's drop of seven time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong, after what the corporation calls "overwhelming evidence" on the accusation of steroids. With sports enthusiasts still in disbelief, the debate now is: Is this the greatest fall of a sports legend?

Let's examine some of the most shocking "Rise and fall" that have glanced our planet:

Pete Rose's betting on baseball games and his subsequent ban from the sport

Why did it shock us?

Well, for starters... we have two situations here. First the gambling issue, with isn't quite "shocking" per se. In terms of realism, there are more people around who have bet, bet and will bet. The crime isn't that big of a deal -in my opinion-, because theoreticaly it didn't have a major impact in Pete Roses career. To say that his gambling enhanced his performance, would be a bold and questionable statement. However, in the world of baseball, gambling has always been a delicate issue to keep the sport clean. Ed Cicotte and Joe "Shoeless Jackson, two "would have been" hall of famers, were banned for life for throwing off the 1921 World Series. To this day, their numbers are equal and even better than those of many Hall of Famers, yet both of them are uneligible for Cooperstown. The case of Pete Rose is different in my opinion, because while it may have happened, it didn't look as he threw off world series; in fact he won two world series, one of them him being MVP. So all in all, is the punishment greater than the crime? I'll answer below.

Perhaps the greatest ball player not in the Hall of Fame

Why we shouldn't be shocked about it?

This is Pete Rose we are talking about. The man with most hits in baseball history with 4,256.
Two time world series champion, MVP in what some regard the greatest World Series of All time
-the 1975 Cincinnatti Reds 4, Boston Red Sox 3-. To assume that his career was driven by betting
on games is a never ending give and take debate. It's one thing to think that it is possible that
he trew off games while he was the Reds' manager from 1986 to 1989, but it is another thing to
think the same of him as a player, especially in what is a well-known term in today's baseball:
"the steroid era", which brings me to my main point on this matter. According to the MLB Commissioner
-or whoever authority-, it is ok to ban a player for betting on games, but it is also ok to
allow baseball players who have been accused of using steroids be eligible to the Hall of Fame.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I give Pete Rose's betting incident a 6.

Mike Tyson's ear-bite incident

Why did it shock us?

The title says it all. In 1997 Evander Holyfield was boxing's heavyweight world champion. He had won the title years earlier after defeating James "Buster" Douglas, who had defeated Tyson. Tyson was somewhat in the middle of a comeback and got himself in the best shape seen since he was world champion, so it appeared as if he actually had a good chance of reclaiming his title. The highly publicized fight ended up becoming a highly publicized cannibalism freak show, when Tyson bit Holyfield's ear in the second round. I remember watching the fight live on TV and I thought to myself: "Did he just bit and spit Evander's ear? He's gonna get disqualified", and that was it. Seconds later, both the fight and Mike Tyson's comeback career ended.

The face of "Punch out" ended up "punched out!"

Why we shouldn't be shocked by it?

Tyson had already gone through an obscure phase after losing his title in 1990. Years later he was accused of rape and beating on his girlfriend. While his behavior in the ring had been impeccable before, it was kind of puzzling what was going around his mind and what kind of resentment he had against Evander, who was everything Tyson wasn't.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I give Mike Tyson's ear-bite and spit incident a 6.

Tiger Woods' Unthankful Thanksgiving

Why did it shock us?

Thanksgiving night of 2010 in Orlando, Florida was looking like any other Thanksgiving night, until around 8pm, breaking news hit all TV Channels. In an unknown series of events that remain unexplained to this day,
Tiger Woods was rushed to Florida Hospital after he crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a tree, while driving out of his garage in the exclusive Isleworth community. What came next was an immediate exposure of endless infidelities and affairs of the golf legend. Woman after woman gave out exclusive interviews claiming never ending sexual encounters with Woods in many cities over the world. Weeks later, a devastated Tiger appeared on public asking for forgiveness from his wife and fans and tried -unsuccessfully- to save his marriage. He lost almost all of his sponsors and his career went into slump mode.

Tiger at his most bitter moment

Why we shoudn't be shocked by it?

Infidelity is another of those delicate subjects. Realistically speaking, it happens and it happens more frequently than what most people believe. The question with Woods' case is: Should we be concerned and judge his infidelities, or should we focus on his marital problems? Both cases are personal matters and have little to zero impact in Tiger's career and achievements (at least until that point). The whole incident was magnified by the media and it became a circus, but other than that, Tiger deserves every and any piece of glory he has earned as one of the greatest golfers of all time.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I give Tiger Woods' Unthankful Thanksgiving incident a 2.

Diego Armando Maradona testing positive for cocaine in 1992.

Why did it shock us?

By 1990, Diego Armando Maradona was regarded as the greatest football player of the world. He had conquered almost every major competition in the sport and had huge hunger and the talent to keep on going for more. After four successful seasons with Napoli and fed up with the living conditions of Italy, Maradona signed one of the largest contracts in the sport with Spanish club Sevilla and was given the responsibility of leading a team that was supposed to become "the next big thing" in Spain's top league. A questionable start of the season led Maradona to have been regarded as a bad deal. It got worse when in 1992, Maradona tested positive during a routine urine exam. It would have been bad if he had tested positive for any steroid or amphetamine, but this was no ordinary event. Maradona had tested positive for cocaine. Aged 32 at that point most football pundits pointed to Maradona's last days in the sport; this became a reality when he received a two year ban from the sport. He came back in 1994, just in time to join the Argentinian squad in the 1994 World Cup, only to test positive again on another routine control, this time for another steroid drug.

Perhaps the only legend that fell down, hit hard, and is still a legend

Why it shouldn't shock us?

In the 80s, Maradona had become a driving force in football and made a name for himself as a legend after notable, memorable performances, especially during the 1986 World Cup. There were plenty of rumours of Maradona having some sort of connection with cocaine usage and other drugs, but there was no concrete or solid evidence to back those claims up. Other than the rumours, I can't come up with any other reason why this incident wasn't a shock to the sports world. It was one of the saddest moments in football history and has always been a huge stigma on Maradona's career and whether if Maradona is indeed the greatest football player of all time, over Pele who on the contrary is a role model of a gentleman.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I give Maradona's testing positive for cocaine a 9.

O.J. Simpson's accusation and trial of murder of his wife and another man.

Why did it shock us?

Even E! Entertainment television has ranked OJ Simpson's car chase as one of the top five most shocking events of all time. When I turned the TV back on 1994, I was wondering something that likely anyone was wondering: "Why is OJ Simpson running away on a Ford Bronco chased by 8914 police cars?" Then I found out: his wife and her lover were found dead in Simpson's home, both bodies horribly stabbed multiple times. This was unthinkabke: OJ Simpson was considered for the role of the Terminator in James Cameron's The Terminator, but was turned down because producers thought he was "too nice". He had though, took part in highly successful trilogy of Naked Gun, playing Detective Norbert, a clumsy but extremely likeable character in the film. Heck! Just two weeks earlier, OJ had just been filmed on a public appearance playing golf with President Clinton. Are you telling me this guy stabbed his wife and her lover to death?

An image that was burned in everyone's retina: Inside that car, lay OJ Simpson, helpless and overwhelmed with...

Why it shouldn't shock us?

Infidelity is a huge deal for some. Apparently it is too for OJ, , but it got a little off hand. Other than that, I can't think of any reason why this shouldn't be the biggest rise and fall of any sports legend.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I give OJ Simpsons's incident a 10.

And now finally, the man of the hour...

Lance Armstrong's usage of steroids.

Why does it shock us?

When one would look at Lance, one would think of many adjectives to describe him: Survivor, Fighter, Perseverant, and even Role Model. He survived cancer and rose to the highest levels of cyclism. He won the Tour de France, not once, not twice, not thrice, but an all time record SEVEN times -five of them straight-. He also became a spokesman and an image of life's victory over death. He started a business that spread this mentality all over the world and created a new culture, the livestrong culture.

Why we shouldn't be shocked about it?

Cyclism is a dirty sport. It's not a corrupt sport, it's a dirty sport, with a long history of steroid usage, doping, cheating, from the lowest to the highest degree of competition. It has been quite common to see race winners being stripped of their victories after testing positive on doping controls. Let's compare it against tennis, to put things in perspective: Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, or old schoolers Pete Sampras, Boris Becker, never ever tested positive in their careers. In fact, tennis has one of the cleanest sheets in the history of steroids. When a tennis player tests positive, it is indeed surprising; when a cyclist test positive, it is just another day. So when I found out about Lance's accusation, instead of thinking "Oh no, this is unbelieveable, I can't believe that this is happening, why would he do it?... etc", I actually thought something like: "Awww, come on man... YOU TOO LANCE?"... with a huge emphasis on "YOU TOO?!"

On a scale from 1 to 10, I would rate this incident at a 7.

Yesterday: seven. Today: zero.

What is next for Lance?

A lot has been discussed and argued about Lance's case and what punishment should he go through. With his sponsors already dropping him, what is next is for the cyclism authorities to ban Lance from the sport and stip all his titles from him. My reasoning is the following:

In 1988 Seoul Olympic Games, Canadian Ben Johnson stunned the world with a 9.79 new world record back then on the 100 m dash competition, a clock that could have been even lower had Johnson not turned his neck around to see how ahead he was from the other seven competitors and not lift his arm up in the air pointing to the sky in signal of victory. After testing positive for drug controls, he was stripped of his victory and of course his gold medal, that was given to the athlete who arrived second, Carl Lewis. The same punishment should be applied to Armstrong. Not doing so would be a weak and unforgivable behavior, as well as unfair with everything that stand for what's ethical and unethical in sports.

I am not a big cyclism fan, but to say I didn't know Lance Armstrong, his struggle with a threatning cancer, his achievemnts would be an understatement. He wasn't a particular role model for me, or someone I would look up to in the sense of admiration, but I respected him as an athelete and as a person, as well as his career. However for others, he was a role model, an idol, an example. Today he's on the same plate where Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, Ben Jonhson, even recent Tour de France winner Alberto Contador, and many others are.

The article I read informing about Nike's decision also mentioned that the possibility of Lance resigning as Livestrong's CEO would be next. It's quite sad, because we are talking about a company that represented and stood for life and gave hope to all of those living a low point in their lives. However business is business and consumers should understand that even a role model organization, shouldn't have a CEO with a questionable career, because that is a stain that spreads all over you. The comments on the article were pointing at Lance's appearance at the New York marathon, which he completed around the three hour mark, now wondering whether if he also took enhance performance drugs in for that event.

Lance Armstrong was meant to go into history books as a cancer survivor, seven time Tour de France winner and the personification of victory after overcoming life's obstacles, Instead, he will go into history as a cancer survivor, who won seven Tour de France, but ended up having his achievements thrown into the drain, after becoming one more in the list of test positive competitors in cyclism.